Note the Red Exclam Point (Sent with High Importance). Do NOT stop to pee!
From: Facilities
Sent: Wednesday, February 17, 2010 3:00 PM
To: All Employees; All Contractors; All Parent Company Employees, All Local Employees
Subject: Fire Drill Results
Importance: High
Folks,
As you are aware, we have just finished a fire drill.
Overall, things went very well however, there are always improvements
that [...]
Edina Huxtable says:
1. Those of you who can’t produce your employee handbooks by the next full moon will forfeit 5 vacation days
2. To save time and wishy-washy behavior we’ll leave a message on the weather hotline the night before (BEFORE the storm even begins) telling everyone that we’re open
Re: Inclement Weather Policy
It appears from the [...]
—–Original Message—–
From:
Sent: Monday, February 01, 2010 4:50 PM
To:
Subject: Bird control
In an effort to control what has become a terrarium outside our office, ____________ will be using a water hose to try and deter the birds from constantly perching on our overhangs. This will not harm the birds as its only water. Starting tomorrow morning and [...]
Wow sounds like fun, and I guess the less than 24 hour lead time is part of the contest challenge?! My costume selection doesn’t include many “work friendly” costumes.
Best Regards,
Amanda <Redacted>
———————————
From: Melissa <Redacted>
Sent: Thursday, October 29, 2009 12:19 PM
To: team
Subject: HAPPY HALLOWEEN
Hello Team!
In honor of Halloween, tomorrow we will be having a costume competition!
Everyone will [...]
From: Barbara <Redacted>
Sent: Wednesday, September 30, 2009 2:57 PM
To: team
Subject: kitchen
Dear Co-workers:
Due to the lack of cooperation I have received with my
kitchen edicts (excepting Tom& Dylan & any other
innocent ones), I hereby resign from my assumed role as
KitchenCommander. I will still be glad to turn the
dishwasher on at the end of the day. [...]
Fakey McFaker says: To be fair, this really isn’t so evil, but it’s
a pretty funny interoffice memo by my own experience & standards… I
like that they tried to be funny about it.
Good afternoon,
It has come to my attention people are flushing the toilet with their
feet causing damage to the handles which lead to flooding not [...]
From: Barbara <Redacted>
To: Team
Friday, September 25th Board of Directors Meeting
Craig asked that everyone help to make the office look as nice as possible for the board meeting tomorrow. As you know, board members will be here for our team meeting after the board meeting so pants are mandatory.
Thank you.
Photo by ousooner
A good memo for these budget-constrained times…
> From: Chris Redacted <chrisr@aus.redacted.net>
> Date: Mon, Jan 22, at 10:29 AM
> Subject: New travel/expense policy
> To: staff@austin.aus.redacted.net
>
photo by Josh Russell
>
> Heads Up – New Policies Announced for Travel Expense
>
> New Travel Policy – Effective Immediately
>
> Due to budget constraints, the following corporate policies
> [...]
If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units).
Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only [...]
Sent: Tue 7/1/2008 9:09 AM
To: 91
Cc:
Subject: Grandfather Clock
Just a friendly reminder that the grandfather clock in the reception
area is only to be wound by the receptionists. Thank you.
Ted Turner says: Because only office receptionists, with the demanding, advanced training they receive, can handle winding a grandfather clock. And [...]
