Wow sounds like fun, and I guess the less than 24 hour lead time is part of the contest challenge?! My costume selection doesn’t include many “work friendly” costumes.

Best Regards,

Amanda <Redacted>

———————————

From: Melissa <Redacted>
Sent: Thursday, October 29, 2009 12:19 PM
To: team
Subject: HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Hello Team!

In honor of Halloween, tomorrow we will be having a costume competition!

Everyone will serve as judges and those who dress up will be in the running for a $50 gift certificate of your choice!  The winner will be decided through a secret ballot system and will be announced in the afternoon.

Please keep costumes somewhat appropriate (Marc) and have fun with it!

Look forward to seeing everyone’s fantastic costumes tomorrow.

Melissa

Thanks to The Daily Dish in The Atlantic for this one…

From: Barbara <Redacted>
Sent: Wednesday, September 30, 2009 2:57 PM
To: team
Subject: kitchen

Dear Co-workers:

Due to the lack of cooperation I have received with my
kitchen edicts (excepting Tom& Dylan & any other
innocent ones), I hereby resign from my assumed role as
KitchenCommander.  I will still be glad to turn the
dishwasher on at the end of the day.  I will also
continue to take care of the water orders.  If anyone
wants to self-anoint themselves as the person
"in charge", they are welcome to do so.  Other than that,
it's every <Redacted Company Citizen> for themselves.

Sincerely,
Barbara <Redacted>

ps - Take a look at the refrigerator & kitchen sink
if you wonder about my motives.

Photo by frumin

Dan Redacted says “Stonger Networks? Maybe the headline should be Why Men Can’t Spell?”

OK, every email marketer has a bad day, but the word ’stonger’ gets funnier every time I say it. Stonger, stonger, stonger!

|

Career Advice September 30, 2009 JOBS FOR YOU Global Channel Campaigns, Round Rock, TX Branding Research Strategist, Round Rock, TX Business Development Senior, Round Rock, TX Product Manager – Partner, Round Rock, TX Brand Senior Consultant, Round Rock, TX More Jobs You Might Like… NEW ARTICLES Why Men Have Stronger Professional Networks Than Women “How Are You Today?” – The Top 7 Interview Answers Create An Emergency Layoff Plan for Your Family Five Steps to Volunteer Your Way to a Job The Challenges of Right-Brained Job Seekers Job Market Stability Please share your thoughts in this 2-3 minute survey.

Fakey McFaker says: To be fair, this really isn’t so evil, but it’s
a pretty funny interoffice memo by my own experience & standards… I
like that they tried to be funny about it.

Good afternoon,

It has come to my attention people are flushing the toilet with their
feet causing damage to the handles which lead to flooding not to
mention expensive handle repair.

Do you realize when you put your foot on the handle someone comes
behind you and puts their hand on it?  YUCK.   Did it ever occur to
you to just use toilet paper to flush the handle?

Furthermore, washing your hands will minimize the spread of cooties.
Yes, I said cooties.

Thanks for your cooperation in the matter. It’s greatly
appreciated.

This PSA was brought to you by the [REDACTED] broadcasting system.
Thank you for your time and have a great afternoon!

Photo by jmignault

From: Barbara <Redacted>

To: Team

Friday, September 25th Board of Directors Meeting

Craig asked that everyone help to make the office look as nice as possible for the board meeting tomorrow.  As you know, board members will be here for our team meeting after the board meeting so pants are mandatory.

Thank you.

Photo by ousooner

RH> From help@redacted.uu.net Thu Sep 22 11:24:48 1994

From: rich@redacted.uu.net (Rich Haag)
Subject: Palo-Alto outage
Reply-To: noc@redacted.uu.net

There will be a scheduled power outage at the Palo Alto hub, this Friday, September 23, from 2:30 am until 5:30 am_Pacific_ Time. The reason is pretty funny.  There is a restaurant down the street from our hub.  Well, they mistook one of the power grid entrance holes for what they thought was a sewer, and have been pouring the grease from their fryers down it for weeks!  So to avert the inevitable flash, bang, boom, they are going to clean it up. (yuck)

Unfortunately, the UPS cannot handle this prolonged an outage, so this will affect the hub.  Unfortunately, we were given insufficient time to make any other arrangements (i.e. generator).

We greatly apologize for any inconvenience this short notice may cause. Thank you for your understanding and patronage.

Rich Redacted                           rich@redacted.uu.net
Manager, Network Operations

A good memo for these budget-constrained times…

> From: Chris Redacted <chrisr@aus.redacted.net>
> Date: Mon, Jan 22, at 10:29 AM
> Subject: New travel/expense policy
> To: staff@austin.aus.redacted.net
>

photo by Josh Russell
>
>  Heads Up - New Policies Announced for Travel Expense
>
>  New Travel Policy - Effective Immediately
>
>  Due to budget constraints, the following corporate policies
>  have been  established regarding employee travel on official
>  company business:
>
>  TRANSPORTATION:  Hitchhiking in lieu of commercial transport is
>  the preferred choice.   Luminescent safety vests will be issued
>  to all employees prior to their departure on company business
>  trips.  Bus transportation will be used whenever hitchhiking
>  is not possible.  Airline tickets will only be authorized for
>  purchase in extreme circumstances and the lowest fares will be
>  used.  If, for example, a meeting is scheduled in Seattle, but
>  a lower fare can be  obtained by traveling to Detroit, then the
>  meeting will be relocated to Detroit.
>
>  LODGING:  All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives,
>  friends, or mere acquaintances while on company business.  If
>  weather permits, public areas such as parks, roadside rests
>  and parking lots should be used for temporary lodging sites.
>  Bridges and tunnels may provide shelter in periods of
>  inclement weather.
>
>  MEALS:  Expenditures for meals will be limited to the absolute
>  minimum.  It should be noted that certain grocery chains, such
>  as Costco,etc., often provide free samples  of promotional items.
>  Entire meals can often be consumed in this manner.   Travelers
>  should also become familiar with indigenous roots, berries, and
>  other protein sources available at their destination.  If
>  restaurants must be utilized, travelers should seek
>  establishments offering "all you can eat"  salad bars.  This
>  will be especially cost effective to employees traveling
>  together, as a single plate can be used to feed the entire
>  group.  Employees are also encouraged to bring their own food
>  while on company business.  Cans of tuna fish, SPAM, and
>  Beefaroni can be conveniently consumed at your leisure,
>  without the unnecessary bother of heating or other costly
>  preparation.
>
>  ENTERTAINMENT:  Entertainment while on travel is strictly
>  discouraged.  If such extravagances are required on customer
>  contacts, the customer should be encouraged to  "pick up the
>  tab".  Such action will save company money and also convince
>  the customer that we are concerned about spending money on
>  providing a good product - not on useless frivolities.  The
>  hospitality provided to our customers who visit our facility
>  shall also be tasteful, yet cost effective.   In lieu of
>  extravagant dinners, a picnic bench will be placed in the
>  parking lot near the dumpster and a garden hose will be made
>  available so that liquid refreshments can be provided for our
>  guests.
>
>  Please let me know if you have any questions on the
>  above.

Whoever sent this ass mass email to thousands of users had a REALLY bad day!

From: training@redacted.com [mailto:training@redacted.com]

Sent: Friday, September 04, 2009 9:23 AM

To: jredacted@redacted.com

Subject: Your training portal assword has been changed

Hello Jason <Redacted>,

Be advised, your TOJ training portal password has been changed
effective 8:30 AM EST on 09/04/09.

Your new login password is provided below. You will be required to
change your password immediately after logging in.

To login goto
https://www.inspiredredacted.com/login/redacted/index.asp?

Username : 15XXX
PASSWORD : an2XXX

NOTES:
*Passwords are case sensitive. If you have trouble logging on try
copying and pasting your password from this message to the login screen.
*On Windows, please login using Internet Explorer 5.5+ or Firefox 1.0.2+
or Netscape 7.2+. On a Mac please use Safari 1.3.2+.

Should you have any questions, please contact
security@redacted.com

Thank you

Here at EvilMemo we LOVE the Reply All button! As do my friends at Big Redacted Company, below…

From: <Redacted>, Fernando
Sent: Friday, August 14, 2009 12:09 PM
To: <A Really Long List of Redacted People>
Subject: RE: EAST Wireless Migration Notification

Please stop replying to all.

Thanks

Fernando <Redacted> |<Redacted> Solution Specialist|

<Redacted Phone and Address>

C ontact my manager to provide any feedback

_____________________________________________
From: <Redacted>, Marilu – <Big Company> Team
Sent: viernes, 14 de agosto de 2009 12:06 p.m.
To: <Another Big List of Redacted People>
Subject: RE: EAST Wireless Migration Notification

Me neither… do I have to install this?

Marilú <Redacted> | Marketing Operations |

<Redacted Phone and Address> |Follow me on Twitter @redacted

<Redacted Address>  | <Big Redacted Company> México

_____________________________________________
From: <Redacted>, Cristina
Sent: Friday, August 14, 2009 12:04 PM
To: <A Long List of Redacted People>
Subject: RE: EAST Wireless Migration Notification

Please stop replying to all

Kind Regards,

Cristina <Redacted>

_____________________________________________
From:<Redacted>, Jessica
Sent: Friday, August 14, 2009 11:59 AM
To: <Far Too Many Redacted People>
Subject: RE: EAST Wireless Migration Notification

I do not know why I am copied on this thread….

Jessica <Redacted>

Inside Corporate Account Manager

<Redacted Big Company Business Unit Name>

<Big Company Redacted Name>

Direct phone: <Redacted>

_____________________________________________
From: <Redacted>, David
Sent: Friday, August 14, 2009 11:58 AM
To: <So Many Redacted People>
Subject: RE: EAST Wireless Migration Notification

I hate to use reply to all to ask folks not to reply to all but please and thanks.

David <Redacted>

<Redacted> Solutions Service Desk

Mobile: <Redacted>

Work: <Redacted>

_____________________________________________
From: <Redacted>, Rob
Sent: Friday, August 14, 2009 11:56 AM
To: <Redacted>
Subject: RE: EAST Wireless Migration Notification

I don’t use Wi-Fi.

Robert <Redacted>
WS1 CE team
Desk <Redacted>

_____________________________________________
From: <Redacted>, Christopher
Sent: Friday, August 14, 2009 10:48 AM
To: <A Long List of Redacted People>
Subject: RE: EAST Wireless Migration Notification

You have the wrong Chris, but I think it’s a good point too.

_____________________________________________
From: <Redacted>, Vernon
Sent: Friday, August 14, 2009 10:45 AM
To: <Every Redacted Person in the Redacted Universe>
Subject: RE: EAST Wireless Migration Notification

Ah, good point.  Thanks.

_____________________________________________
From: <Redacted>, Roger W
Sent: Friday, August 14, 2009 11:30 AM
To: East Wirless Project; East Wirless Project
Subject: RE: EAST Wireless Migration Notification

Hi Folks.

Even though this client is out on RAP today, please do not install it until Monday (as the note asks so kindly below).

Otherwise, you will hose your East connection until next Monday when the deployment is finished (like this guy I know- me!!   ; )

R

_____________________________________________
From: WAP East Wireless Project
Sent: Friday, August 14, 2009 9:23 AM
To: WAP East Wireless Project
Subject: EAST Wireless Migration Notification

Subject: EAST Wi-Fi Network Users- Action Required

Photo by SparkCBC